


we are who we want to forget

by They_Call_Me_Asshole



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Abuse, Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bottom Richie Tozier, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Top Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:22:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22170991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/They_Call_Me_Asshole/pseuds/They_Call_Me_Asshole
Summary: Richie is surprised to see the Losers at his show a couple of months after they defeated it.He was even more surprised to find out that they were all planning on staying over at his place.Panic ensues and his relationship with his manager, Steve Covall, is strained even more due to this.Richie thinks it's straining do to something else. Correction: Someone else.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Audra Phillips, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Steve Covall/Richie Tozier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

"Bo! Get over here." Richie called to his manager, the comedian held up two suits. His special was tonight, four hours from this moment and he hadn't chosen what to wear.

"I'm busy, Rich! Figure it out." Steve answered from the living room making Richie pout playfully. He and Steve had been living together for about two years now, they met five years ago when Richie's past manager, Jerry, died. 

Richie and Steve started as the best of friends. The two were inseparable; you could always find them sitting together at Derek's Bar making horrible jokes and/or crying about their lives. Three years after they met, Steve made a move. They were sitting on Richie's couch watching Shrek and suddenly Richie felt Steve's hand on his. Not pinky on pinky like they had discretely been doing, but full on hand on hand action. Richie had stiffened but made no move to remove Steve's hand.  
Things only progressed from there.  
Weeks later they kissed and weeks after that they made out. Richie would always puke his guts out right after but hell if he was going to stop it. They never talked about it and Richie was fine with that. Happy, actually, whereas Steve showed discomfort from the silence. Every now and then, Steve would bring it up and try to ask Richie what they were. Richie would stay quiet. 

A year after they started whatever they started, Steve began to gain confidence. He realized he wasn't going to get anything out of Richie so he settled on considering their relationship as a "friends with benefits" type of thing. Richie wasn't so happy about that but didn't voice his concerns. About four months into their "friends with benefits" thing, Steve moved in with Richie. Invaded his home, almost, and would order Richie around. Richie couldn't say he didn't mind, but he was fine with it. At least he wasn't alone. 

Soon after, nearly completing the two years they've been "together", Richie visited Derry to defeat Pennywise. Steve had definitely thrown a Bitch Fit over how Richie just straight up left but didn't pry. Richie did return to Steve demanding to write his own material and after lots of complaining Steve agreed, as long as they kept some ghost writers to fill in extra minutes. He didn't want people to lose their jobs over Richie. 

Now here they are, Richie deciding which suit he would wear to his special (which sold out, by the way) and Steve doing Steve things. Steve things, turned out to be setting up his newest attempt to get Richie fit. 

"I call it, RIGA." Steve later told Richie on the car ride to the venue. 

"The fuck does that stand for?" Richie snorted, turning on his signal light. 

"Richie Is Getting Athletic." Steve turned to look at Richie's expression, which looked annoyed. "RIGA will work." 

"What's with you and making me athletic? I know I'm no Chris Evans but...do you really think I'm that unattractive that you need to make me a dieting system?" Richie's brows were furrowed and the comedian definitely felt his chest tight around his ribs. He felt his breathing become sharp and a tingle started up on his forehead. 

"I think that you need to take care of yourself better. That's all." Steve shrugged. "You're right, you're no Chris Evans." 

Richie didn't talk after that.

______________________________________________________

The special went great, the whole performance was written entirely by Richie and Steve swore that the response from the crowd was significantly better than before. Richie felt smug. He went to the room they let him put his stuff in at the venue and was about to take a celebratory secret sip of beer while Steve had gone to do manager stuff but was interrupted when his door opened. Richie quickly hid the beer.

"Hey Rich! I've got some VIP here. Say they know you, and they paid to come back stage." Steve opened the door wider and Richie recognized his best friends. 

"No fucking way!" Richie's smile was wider than Steve had ever seen. Richie spotted Beverly and Ben first, followed by Mike and Bill, finishing with Eddie. "You guys are fucking gold!" Richie went to hug them.

"It's so great to see you, Rich." Beverly hugged him tightly. 

The Losers hadn't all been together like this since Derry. They had chatted frequently on group chats but it's different to see someone and text. 

When Richie got to Eddie he nearly cried. "Eds, you look fucking amazing." The last time Richie saw Eddie, his side was covered in bandages. Pennywise had luckily only grazed Eddie's side, unlike what Richie had saw in the deadlights where he...

"Beep, beep, Trashmouth." Eddie nuzzled his face into Richie's neck. The room was silent, the Losers knew the two of them needed this. 

Steve cleared his throat. "Rich.."

Richie pulled away from Eddie and looked over. "Yeah?" 

"Nothing... I'll be right back." Steve left the room.

"Did you guys like the show?" Richie asked excitedly.

"Better than I expected, still not funny though." Mike put his hand on Richie's shoulder. Richie rolled his eyes. 

"I thought it was pretty good. Better than your old acts, for sure." Bill pitched in, taking a seat. 

"Thanks?" Richie snorted. "So how long are you guys going to be in LA?" 

"Well, that's the big news." Ben smiled shyly. "Bev and I are getting married here." 

"No fucking way!" Richie jumped in excitement. "You finally put a ring on that, Bev!" Richie high fived Beverly, who blushed. 

"I was hoping you'd be my maid of honor." She winked at Richie. Richie pulled her into a hug.

"I'd be..HONORed." he snorted 

"Nevermind." Beverly tried to pull away.

Richie tugged her back into the hug. "No take-backsies." They all laughed collectively. 

The six chatted and laughed. All missing one more member who they knew was there within them and their memories but that wasn't like how it would be if Stan were really there and they all knew that. Finally, Bill cleared his throat and stood in front of Richie.

"Rich, we all want to ask a favor from you." Bill gave him his puppy dog eyes.

Richie raised a brow. "Oh?"

"Can we all stay at your place for a couple of days? We...forgot to book our rooms," Bill glared at Ben who looked sheepish. Obviously he was in charge of booking the rooms and had forgotten. "So we need a place to stay and there aren't any rooms available for another three days." 

Richie pursed his lips. He knew Steve was going to throw a fit but these were his childhood friends. Richie wasn't just about to leave them high and dry. Especially in LA. "Of course! It'll be like old times." Richie grinned. "We can order strippers for Ben's Bachelor Party. Bev can stay she's obviously one of the guys, so, it counts." 

Beverly punched Richie lightly on the shoulder. 

"Thanks," Bill smiled. Richie brushed it off and said it wasn't a big deal. 

"I need to go do something real quick, you guys can start getting ready to leave. I'll text you my address right now." Richie waved to the Losers and went to go find Steve.

______________________________________________________

"They're going to what?" Steve crossed his arms, angry.

"They need a place to stay, Steve!" Richie tried to reason.

"Oh, and I don't?" Steve's anger made his face go red. 

"You have your old condo, you never sold it. Please Steve..." Richie held Steve's hand.

"How am I supposed to take my stuff out?" Steve sighed pulling his hand away aggressively. 

"I'll stall them. If we cross at the house just say you need to talk to me about the show." Richie frowned. 

"Okay." 

"Okay."

______________________________________________________

Richie sent everyone the address of a sushi place. They all rolled their eyes but ate pleasantly.

"So," Eddie started. "I have an announcement." The Losers settled their laughter and turned their attention to Eddie. "Myra and I got a divorce."

Richie grinned. "Eddie that's great! You're a single man now, no attachments."

"Are you handling it well?" Bev asked, ignoring Richie. Eddie sighed.

"I guess I'm doing okay. It feels weird, I've been with her for so long it's just... I'm happy but uncomfortable, I guess." Eddie explained. 

The group chatted, encouraging Eddie on how he made the right decision and moving on as too not make Eddie more uncomfortable. Richie felt happy, Eddie was free from Myra's grasp. Of course, that doesn't mean Eddie is going to, all of the sudden, ask Richie out and come out as gay or bisexual. But a guy can dream. 

______________________________________________________

When the Losers got to Richie's house, which luckily had five rooms total, Richie cringed when he spotted Steve's car parked in the garage. Richie parked and waited for everyone else to find a parking spot. When they all grouped up, Richie opened the door and let them in, each carrying their baggages. Steve was setting the house key down on the counter when they walked in. 

"Heya, Steve." Richie smiled.

"Hi." Steve waved at the group. "I was just going to congratulate you for a successful special, Rich." Steve approached him and handed him a pamphlet. 

"What is this?" Richie looked at it curiously. It had a lot of instructions on it, it seems.

"RIGA. I made a booklet for you." Steve smiled.

"Oh.."

"I also emptied your house of alcohol and junk foods. I did a grocery run, your fridge is now jacked on veggies and healthy shit." 

"Hooray." Richie said blandly. The Losers had been setting down their things but gathered around Steve and Richie when they were done. 

"Great. See you tomorrow." Steve started walking for the door.

"Wait- tomorrow's my day off!" Richie reminded Steve.

"I know, but I think your jokes need to be tweaked, also; we're going to discuss how much of your act will be written by you." Steve turned to Richie with a hurt smile.

"That's not fair! Just because you're pissed at me—"

"Pissed is an understatement." 

"—doesn't mean you can ruin my chances to finally take charge of my career!" 

Bill pitched in. "Richie's right, whatever is going on, personal issues shouldn't effect your business."

Steve glared. "You'd do the same if you were me."

"What could Richie possibly have done to you?" Eddie snorted, glaring at Steve and crossing his arms.

Richie shook his head. "We don't need to talk about—"

"I'm out. See you tomorrow, Richard. I'll text you the details." Steve walked out and the Losers all mumbled angrily about the manager. 

Richie closed the door with a sigh. 

"Why haven't you fired him?" Mike asked while he set down his backpack.

"I think I'm going to have to..." Richie sat down on his couch and tossed the pamphlet onto the coffee table. Eddie approached the table and grabbed the pamphlet.

"Richie Is Getting Athletic?" Eddie read off the paper, asking Richie what the hell that meant just by saying the name.

"RIGA." Richie started. "Steve wants me to go on a diet." 

"This is stupid." Beverly huffed, already looking through Richie's cabinets. "There really isn't any alcohol. This guy's an asshole."

"He..He's not. He can be really nice, and the diet thing is just him trying to help me.. I'm the one who messed up. I pissed him off a bit..."

"What did you do?" Ben asked, sitting next to him. 

Richie looked down at the floor. " 'don't wanna talk 'bout it." He mumbled.

The group stayed silent, understanding how it felt to be ashamed of oneself. They knew Richie would tell them when he's ready. 

And right now, he's far from ready.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Richie's house was probably the most alive it had ever been. Bill and Mike were making a checklist of all the things they needed to do for the wedding while Ben made breakfast and Bev looked at stores nearby that might be good to look for bridal dresses in. Eddie was spending forever in the shower and Richie was getting ready to see Steve. Steve had texted him not long after he had left telling him to meet him at his condo. 

"Maybe someone should come with you." Ben suggested. "I wouldn't mind coming along."

"I could too," Eddie said stepping out from the hallway and into the living room where the Losers had gathered. Eddie's hair was wet from the shower so he was trying to dry it off with his towel. 

"No, I think I'll be okay." Richie smiled. "I'll just talk to him. Honestly, what I did wasn't a big deal and I think he's upset about something else."

"It'd be nice to know what you did." Mike pitched in, knowing Richie wouldn't tell but still giving it a try. "A little context goes a long way." 

"Says the guy that forgot to mention a killer clown when he called us to go to Derry, fucking, Maine." Richie snorted and he could hear a couple of the group snickering while Mike went red in embarrassment. 

"I think Ben is right, I don't trust this Steve guy and maybe it would be best to have some backup." Beverly approached Richie and gave him her best 'listen to me' face. 

Richie shook his head. "This is something I need to do alone."  
______________________________________________________

He shouldn't have come alone. 

Entering Steve's condo, Richie immediately noticed how messy it was. Steve had obviously been throwing shit around the night before. Steve had let Richie with a stern look before leading him to the kitchen. Steve had a nice table there with bar stools that Richie had always loved to sit in when he would come over. He would spin tirelessly and the two would laugh. Richie remembered how his heart would swell whenever he heard Steve's laugh and hell, it still does. But right now, Steve wasn't laughing. 

"So about you writing your material—"

"You either let me, or I fire you." Richie said quickly and sternly as he could. Steve's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "There's no other option Steve-o."

"Richie..you can't fire me. We've known each other for five fucking years for God's sake!" Steve was fuming and Richie felt a little vulnerable sitting on the bar stool now while Steve walked back and forth in front of him. 

"Steve, I need you to listen to me, okay? I... I love you." Richie looked down at the floor. "And I know I hardly say that and I know you want this to be a friends with benefits thing and I don't even know what I want.. but I know that you've been my best friend for so long—"

"No! Screw you, Tozier. I'm not your fucking best friend! We've been doing this for two years! Never have I heard you say you were my boyfriend when clearly that's what we were. You're too caught up in your own shit to care about how I feel! How do you think I feel?" Steve was crying now. Richie felt as if someone had punched him the gut and he stood up and pulled Steve into a hug. 

"I'm sorry." Richie muttered, it's all he could find he could say.

"I was going to propose to you. Yesterday after your show." Steve admitted and Richie felt the manager pull away. Richie's face was awestruck and he felt dread and joy at the same time.

"You...you were?" 

"Yeah, fucker." Steve laughed while wiping away a tear. "I'm tired of beating around the bush. I want you to be Richard Covall. Screw the Toziers, your parents were shit anyway." Richie chuckled and felt his heart swell again. He loves that laugh. "So?" Steve said after a moment of silence. 

"So what?" Richie chuckled.

Steve kneeled before Richie and looked up at him. Richie could see hope in his blue eyes, Richie's heart was gonna fucking pop. "Will you, Richie Wentworth Trashmouth Tozier, marry me?" 

Richie stared into Steve's eyes and felt time stop. He was reminded of all the time he and Steve spent together. He thought of everything good. He thought of how sinful everything they had done was even though they had never gotten past taking their shirts off. Then Richie thought of Eddie, he thought of his laugh and how he had gotten a divorce. He thought of how it would be to marry Steve who had been threatening to ruin his career not long ago. "Bo," Richie said quietly, unable to say Steve's name. "I don't think I can, Bo..."

Steve's face said it all. He looked devastated, surprised, and angry. "Richie.." he muttered while getting up. "I can't believe this! I waste five fucking years of my life trying to make you love me—"

"I do love you, Steve!" Richie pleaded.

"No you don't! You won't even have sex with me!" Steve grabbed Richie's wrists harshly. Richie tried prying away but was surprised to realize Steve was stronger.

"Steve, you're hurting me.." Richie hissed as Steve's grip got tighter and he pushed Richie against the wall. 

"I've spent so much energy on you, and this is my reward? You rejecting me? You kicking me out of our home? You threatening to fire me?!" Steve growled.

"Steve please," Richie pleaded with tears forming in his eyes. "Just give me some more time. I won't fire you and once my friends leave we'll go back to normal, I promise!" 

Steve frowned. "I don't believe you." Steve let go of Richie's hands and punched Richie in the face. Richie stumbled and fell to the floor, allowing himself to lean against the wall. 

"Steve, please, you're not like this! This isn't you!" Richie cried, holding his face. 

Steve stayed silent for a moment. "Fuck, I'm.. I'm so sorry Richie." Steve went to help Richie up but Richie pulled away. "Fuck I just- I'm all over the place right now and—"

"It's okay." Richie stood up. He sobbed lightly when Steve pulled him into a hug. Pulling away slightly to take hold of Richie's face and leaning their foreheads together. 

"Never again. I won't ever do that again, Rich, I promise." Steve kissed Richie and Richie let him. Richie's arms were limp at his side, he felt unmoving besides his lips. Steve kissed Richie more passionately, they both gasped when they would pull apart. "I promise Richie...I love you...forgive me please..." were some of the things Steve would say between kisses. 

Steve pressed Richie against the wall once again. 

They kissed and Richie grew the courage to wrap his arms around Steve's neck while Steve's hands snaked to Richie's hips. "I want to make love to you." Steve said quietly into Richie's neck, where he placed warm kisses. 

Richie stayed quiet for a moment. "You won't hurt me?" The comedian finally asked.

"I promise." 

______________________________________________________

They went all the way that time. Richie found it difficult not to puke while he thought of how disgusting he was. He was letting Steve shove his dick up his ass and Richie was enjoying it. He would have to cover his mouth to prevent himself from showing his enjoyment because hell if he deserves that. After they finished, Steve cumming first and having to give Richie a hand job to make him cum too, Richie got up and puked into Steve's toilet. Steve put his clothes on and grabbed Richie some water.

"I love you." Steve smiled at Richie, giving him the glass when he finished puking.

"I love you too." Richie said blandly. "Please let me continue to write my own shit."

"Okay." Steve caressed his cheek. "You should go, your friends are probably gonna need you to navigate or something." 

"Right." Richie nodded and put his clothes on. "When's our next meeting, like actual work meeting?" 

"In two days, I'll text you the details." 

"Okay," Richie nodded and walked towards the door.

"Okay." Steve opened the door and waved goodbye. 

______________________________________________________

Richie drove back to his house, he had sprayed himself with cologne to cover up the sex smell. When he walked in, he was nearly attacked with how many questions the Losers were asking him. 

"What the fuck happened to your face?" Eddie finally pointed out, making everyone quiet down. Richie reached up and grazed his fingers over his cheek where he felt pain. It had swelled and was now a light bruise on his face. 

"I fell." Richie said quickly.

"Fuck that bullshit," Bill hissed. "Steve fucking punched you! Give me his address, he's about to get f-f-fucked up!" 

Mike grabbed Bill's shoulder. "Bill, hold on." 

"What happened?" Beverly pulled Richie to sit down on the couch where the group began to gather. 

Richie sighed. "It got heated. We talked it out and he needed to blow off some steam." Richie laughed. "Such a short dude yet he's got a good right hook." 

"Did you fire him yet?" Ben asked.

"No, I convinced him to let me keep writing the acts. We're good now." Richie took a deep breath. 

"You smell like sex." Eddie pointed out again. They all turned to look at Eddie. "It's mostly covered with your cologne but.. it stinks dude." 

Richie blushed and looked down. "I um, I took a detour after the meeting." 

The Losers shared looks with each other, skeptical, but again they knew Richie wouldn't tell them until he was ready. 

"Bev and I made mac and cheese. Come on guys, let's eat." Ben ruffled Richie's hair and walked towards the kitchen. 

They all chatted like usual. Bill talked mostly about his new book, which he based off their adventure. "I was hoping I could know what you all individually saw, and why you think you saw it." Bill said finally. "I know it's personal and all, but I think it would really help feed the story. Make it accurate."

Ben hummed. "Right now?" 

"If you guys want, yeah." Bill took his laptop from where he had left it on the table, he opened a new document and smiled. "Who's first?" 

"I can go," Beverly smiled. "I um, when we came back not long ago, I saw this old woman. I had gone to my old house and she was there, she told me my dad had died. I went there to get the postcard Ben gave me anonymously that I hid in the wall of my bedroom. She said some things and that's when I realized she was Pennywise so I ditched." Beverly laughed. "I think the clown used my dad against me. He would always ask if I was still his 'little girl' and Pennywise would say that to me frequently." 

Bill nodded. "Thanks Bev, is there anything else you want to make clear in the book?" 

"Not make clear," she frowned. "But.. I guess since we're all opening up...I want to say that I.. my dad sexually abused me while I was growing up. He would say I looked like my mom, sometimes he would spray me with her perfume to smell me. He would say she killed herself because she was ashamed of me and my reputation." 

Everyone went to hug Beverly. "Thanks for telling us," they heard Ben say to her quietly while holding her hand. 

"Who's next?" Bill finally said after a moment of silence. 

"Ahaha, you think we're as brave as Bev? Nah fam." Richie snorted. 

"I'll go," Eddie sighed and Richie flashed a smile to him. "Okay, so, when I came back I went to the pharmacy. I went to the basement where, as a kid, I saw the Leper attack my mom who I couldn't—didn't save. I saw the Leper again and I choked him until he puked on me. I think it's pretty clear my whole think was just me being hypochondriac. The Leper was my main monster. I think my mom was too. She made me think this way since I was a kid, I think that's why I married Myra. I craved someone to nag me around like my mom did, I guess. I don't think I ever really loved her, anyway." 

"Someone has mommy issues." Richie snorted and Eddie laughed. 

"Yeah, I guess so." 

Next went Ben, who talked about his weight and his fear of mummy's and of Beverly hating him. He told them about what he saw when they came back, of Beverly with literal fire hair. Beverly held his hand tighter while he spoke. "I guess I was just afraid of being alone and mummies." He huffed with a smile. 

Then Mike talked about what he saw at the rock fight. And the giant bird that attacked him, he talked about his family's history and how that had loomed over him for so long. He talked about how burnt hands would reach out to him, like they had in the fire. 

"Okay, your turn Trashmouth." Bill looked over to Richie. 

"You know what I'm afraid of, dude. Clowns." Richie snorted. "That's my whole thing." 

"Why was your token a token?" Eddie asked suddenly. "I never understood that."

"Yeah, that would be something cool to elaborate on in the book." Bill nodded. 

Richie sighed. He looked around. "Okay, um..when we all split I would go to the arcade a lot. You know, like a normal kid." The Losers rolled their eyes and Richie continued. "I would play Street Fighter, mostly, and this one time this guy came in and asked to play too. So we played for like four fucking hours, his name was Connor and he was probably my only friend at that time since we all were separated. Then I found out, very unluckily, that Connor was Henry's cousin. And since me, being a regular ol' kid wanting to keep playing when Connor left, I asked him to do one more round just as Henry walked in. And Connor, that asswipe, started saying that me—Richie Trashmouth Tozier— was being.." Richie cleared his throat. 

"Being what, Richie?" Bill asked, noticing Richie was having trouble.

Richie looked around. "He said I was acting like his boyfriend or something. Which I wasn't! I was just asking for another round but Henry yelled at me, calling me a faggot and ordering me to leave. So I did. And I ended up at the park and the Paul Bunyan statue guy chased me." 

"That's fucking crazy man." Eddie laughed. "Were you scared of the statue?" 

"I was scared of how hot I thought the statue was." Richie laughed. They all stayed quiet. "I'm gay. That's my thing. I'm gay and I throw up every time I make out with a guy. I think I have internalized homophobia."

Bill set down his laptop and hugged Richie, they all did. "We're here for you Rich." Mike told him while grabbing his hand. 

"Yeah yeah, shut up assholes." Richie laughed.

"Beep, beep, Trashmouth."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter cuz I want to update most works before the weekend finishes

It's funny how things work out, or maybe Beverly is just really scary and she made everyone fall asleep before her and Richie. Bev opened up a box of cigarettes, vaguely reminding Richie of the early mornings he would spend with her; overlooking the Kissing Bridge and smoking the sun into the sky. 

"Let's go out to your balcony, Trashmouth." Bev nodded towards the sliding doors and Richie followed her outsides. She slid the door nearly closed and leaned against the railing while Richie a cigarette. He wouldn't light two because they would always share one. 

"What's up, Bev?" Richie finally asked after taking a drag of the cigarette before passing it over. 

"I talked to you, about my ex, right?" Beverly didn't look at him when she took hold of the cigarette. 

"Yeah, you told me he would best you and shit." Richie leaned against the railing, imitating Beverly's stance. "What about him?" 

"Richie, I spent so long thinking what he did to me was okay. That I deserved that shit." She shook her head and took a shaky breath. "I would have sex with him to please him, when I knew perfectly well I didn't want to." 

"Bev...you never deserved that—"

"I know that, Rich." She snapped. "No one, fucking, deserves that. Whether you're s guy or a girl, it doesn't fucking matter. Richie.." she sighed. "the others might not be able to tell but I can. I can tell Steve isn't a bad guy but what the two of you are doing is taking out the worst in him. He beat you and I'm pretty sure you had sex with him. Did you want ti have sex with him?"

"Bev, this isn't.." Richie stepped away. "This isn't like that. Steve is a good guy and nothing is happening—"

"Don't bullshit me, Richie." Beverly frowned. "I know bullshit when I hear it because I've heard it all my life, coming from my own mouth." 

Richie looked down to his shoes. "What do I do then?" He whispered.

"You man up, and you stop whatever is going on between you and Steve and you either fire him or you msje it strictly perfeshional." Richie stayed quiet while Bev passed him the dying cigarette. "What will it be?" 

"I'll talk to him.." Richie sighed. "at our next meeting. I'll pull him to a corner, it's still a public place so he can't do shit but I'll still have some confedentiality. 

"Good." Bev smiled. "Come here, you asshole." Beverly pulled him into a hug. 

"Thanks, Bevvie."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short Loser chapter so yall know i aint dead yet, new chapter soon
> 
> Just so you know the pressure im in >>>>>>
> 
> ITS THE SUMMER I JUST FINISHED 9TH GRADE AND IM TAKING COLLEGE CHEMISTRY COURSES FOR SIX WEEKS AND MY FIRST EXAM IS TOMORROW AND I STILL DONT KNOW ALL THE CONVERSION FACTORS

The next day was finally a work free day. Richie usually had a lot of days off, sure, but in the hot weeks of tours and shows Richie liked to kick back and chill everytime he could. And, usually, on these days Steve would cuddle with Richie on the couch and watch some stupid movie. Sometimes they'd binge a show or throw back to Antenna TV and find something good on there, and sometimes they'd fall asleep on each other because they were comfortable that way.

Richie was sitting on the edge of his bed. Still in his pajamas. He was staring down at his hands, and a spot on his finger that could've been wrapped with a ring if he had told Steve "yes". What had Richie been thinking? Saying no? It's probably the only time anyone would ever propose to him, ever, for the rest of his life; and he turned it down. He turned Steve down. Worst of all, he allowed himself to BE with Steve. 

A migraine snuck its way to Richie's forehead and he let out a loud sigh. He stood up and took in his surroundings. He listened to the bustle outside his room, which felt nice. He liked not being alone. Come to think of it, Richie hated being alone. He couldn't stand it, which is ironic because Richie will probably die alone. At least that's what he believes. 

Richie went into autopilot, getting ready and presentable for whatever the day brought. He threw on a button up with planets and galaxies printed onto it and some black jeans that fit him well. Richie stared at himself in the mirror. If it was Richie talking, he'd describe himself as fat and sloppy. If it were just a stranger catching a glimpse, they'd say he looked pretty good. Sure, he's got a beer belly but what middle aged average joe doesn't? He's got a receding hairline, but the five o clock shadow makes up for it. He's got broad shoulders and curves in the right places. He's a good looking guy. Anyone is good looking, it just depends on the eyes of whom you're looking through. 

He walked out to the kitchen, most of the Losers were up and buzzing, save for Ben and Bev. Richie yawned to announce his arrival. He received a chorus of "goodmornings". 

He watched Eddie quickly approach him. "How's your bruise, dude? Looks swollen still.."

Richie lifted his hand to the bruise and gently poked at it. "Doesn't feel too bad, I'm sure some make up will make it Houdini or whatever that magicians name is. Bev probably has something."

"How are you not sure of who you're referencing? Aren't you supposed to be all knowing when it comes to references? Y'know, since you're a comedian?" Eddie smirked and clapped his hand onto Richie shoulder. Richie tensed but leaned into the touch. 

"I don't touch magicians," Richie grinned. "and don't ask because it's a long story Eds." 

"Don't call me 'Eds'." Eddie frowned and released his hold but a smile creeped back onto his face.

"BREAKFAST!" Bill and Mike screeched from the kitchen. Richie hissed and shot them a stink-eye. 

"We have neighbors, dip-shits!" Richie yelled while Eddie laughed hysterically. The two made their way to the dining table where Mike and Bill had laid out six plates of turkey bacon, eggs and granola bars. 

"Granola bars?" Eddie asked. 

"That's the substitution we found for pancakes, that asshole Steve only.left that around." Bill explained. They all took a seat, and were soon.joined by Bev and Ben (undoubtedly awoken by the screeching). 

"Smells good." Bev hummed. Ben nodded in agreement, his eyes still open just a sliver. They both looked really tired. 

"Oh, Bevvy." Richie burst out in his british accent. "Sex is for after the marriage! This pratt is getting into your wedding dress before it's even on!" 

Bev giggled and Ben blushed a deep red that matched his red flannel pjs. "I don't want to listen to the British guy this early." Eddie groaned. 

"Oh but you need it!" Richie reach over to Eddie and tickled his side. Eddie squirmed and shoved Richie arm away. Richie laughed along with Mike and Bill. 

"So what's todays plan?" Mike asked before taking a bite out of his bacon. 

Beverly pursed her lips. "I'm thinking of looking at the venue and making sure everything's set. You know, flowers, seats, food, servers. All that stuff." 

"And we need to get the dance down." Ben pointed out after a swig of oj. 

Beverly hummed and nodded vigorously. "Mhmm. That too. And Rich, we need to get you fitted for your dress." She grinned.

Richie grinned. "Whatever the bride desires." 

"For real?!" Beverly gasped. 

"I've dressed in drag before, honey." Richie smirked. "It ain't my first rodeo." He said in a southern accent. Beverly squealed and shot out of her chair. 

"I'm going to go find some stores!!!" She ran off down the hallway in search of her laptop. Ben laughed.

"Thanks, Rich." Ben smiled up at Richie. 

"Anytime."

\--------------------------


End file.
